Winner, Winner, Chicken Dinner!

I know I’m a big dork but I’m kind of excited to be chosen to be apart of the audience for the show BetterCT Baby Shower!!!

My friend Polly told me about the contest and it was basically to write a letter explaining why I deserve baby gifts. So, I wrote a little bit about my self, submitted my blog and BAM! Chosen. One of 22 pregnant women chosen to be apart of the show. Not that I did anything spectacular and it could be because not many people submitted a letter but I’m excited so lay off!

My friend Emily and I are going to go and sit in the audience and potentially have my letter read out loud on the air. I’m hoping with every part of my being that that does not occur. As much as it may seem the complete opposite, I absolutely hate attention. Especially when all eyes are literally on me. My Irish complexion turns every shade of red and it’s just utterly embarrassing. A trait that I hope Avery does not get.

Here’s the awesome part!!! Just for being apart of the audience they will be giving each pregnant women there 1300K worth of baby goodies!!!

My husband says I’m just going to get “Crap” and not to get my hopes up but I don’t care at all. I’m thuper excited to go for the experience and hopefully get a couple of diapers out of the deal.

So, if you are in the CT area, the show we are going to be on will be airing on Friday at 3pm on the local station (not even a clue what that is), so find it,  tune in and perhaps see me get completely red in the face as they share my awful letter about myself or just to look out for Emy and I in the audience and watch as  we sit there awkwardly waiting for some swag. 

YEEE-HAWWW!!!!

Ugh, I’ve literally felt like the white trashiest person all week. Here is the scoop…

So, I’m VERY excited because I have been working for the company TD Bank for almost four years. I’ve been a consultant for them and I was totally good with that. I could work when and where I wanted to. I strolled into my kitchen at around 9am-10am some days to start work and it was fabulous. Not only that, but the pay is not too shabby as a consultant.

However, now with Avery on the way they extended an offer to hire me as a full time employee. Yes. This was very kind of a company to actually help me out and realize that I would truly “benefit” from their “benefits.” And to hire me before the baby is born is even more outstanding because then I can take off 6 weeks of paid time off and then an additional 6 because they have to. So, I’m a big TD fan for even giving a crap about me.

Only down fall is that I had to waddle my 7 month pregnant behind to go get drug tested to obtain a position. Granted, I didn’t have to go to a police station or anything but it is equally embarrassing to go to a walk in clinic, obviously pregnant, to take a urine sample.. Now, picture if you want, a 7 month pregnant women who can’t see past her stomach attempt to catch an immense amount of urine in small cup  (almost a ½ a cup!!!, Not that quantity was an issue but the act of catching it is a different story). Have I disgusted you yet? Well, you should have been there. I can’t even imagine how I looked but I was very successful in my collection. Thank the lord because I’d rather be jobless than go and explain that I need a "re-do" because i'm too fat and peed all over myself. 

Now here is the best part. As I’m lying in bed this morning, day after the drug test, I’m scrolling through my facebook. I laugh as I read that my friend Lauren posted about eating poppy seed bagels like in Seinfeld right before a drug test. I thought “well only an idiot would do that.” UMMMM you are looking at that idiot!!! I ran to the kitchen took out the multigrain bagels that I consumed just an hour before my drug test and low and behold “POPPY SEEDS.” Are you FREAKING kidding me?!!? If it’s not white trash enough to go in for a drug test 7 months pregnant, it’s even worse to test positive for heroine!!

SO, yes I may have announced my new position for TD on FB but if you see me retracting that statement in the near future, it’s because I’ve tested positive for opiates, social services is now planning on when to take Avery away and I’ll be going to rehab. All because I’m an idiot.

AND….

I just had to remove my wedding band because my sausage hands have become larger than life. 

Move over Teen Mom’s, I have officially beat you in being the white trashiest person of the year. Yeehaw! 

Stretch Mark or Scratch?!?

There’s a new game I’ve been playing with my husband. It’s called “Stretch Mark or Scratch?!?” This is basically when I run into his office with my shirt up pointing at markings on my stomach screaming at him “is this a stretch mark or scratch?! Stretch Mark or Scratch, I ask?!” I don’t know what Jon’s more scared of. Me running into his office screaming like a crazy lady or scared that he may one day choose the wrong answer.

So far so good. I have not had any stretch marks and Jon has only uttered the words “uhhh, scratch”. But again, I’ve just started my third trimester and I assume all the scary stuff has just begun so there is still plenty of time for me to “earn my stripes.” Of course, there is nothing wrong with stretch marks and you usually can’t even tell when women have them (after the baby that is) but I think all you pregnant women out there would be lying if you said you weren’t worried about getting them as well.

I’m hoping that between my decent genetics and the fact that I basically drink Cocoa Butter that I should be safe for another month or so. Or I could be the lucky woman that gets stretch marks after birth. I’ve read all about that. Regardless, I’m still being extra cautious. One of my fellow pregnant friends recommended “Beautiful Belly Balm” to help as well and I will be buying at least 2 today. And my amazing friend Katherine got me organic belly balm for “Stretching and growing skin” which is obviously what is occurring. I’ve come way too far to not try every avenue.

Yes, yes. I know all you mothers out there will tell me “they will probably happen regardless and it is mainly genetics and not lotions so get a grip” but I don’t care. At least I know that I made a valiant effort in the war against stretch marks.

So for now, I will continue to scare the living crap out of my husband and pray to the Cocoa Butter gods that I can make it through this pregnancy with minimal “stripes.”

Thanks, Truly...

When starting this blog,  I really thought that only my close family would be reading it. Along with my friends that were bored during their days at work and perhaps the poor random person that googled “pregnant advice” and was redirected to my blog and thus the reason for my candidness and no shame approach. I figured that writing about peeing my pants and my rapid weight gain would be no shocker to my friend’s and family.  I couldn’t believe it when I saw people were reading it not only from the US but all around the world. That’s insane!!  Along with exciting and kind of scary at the same time.

So, I wanted to say “Thanks” to all those that read each week when I post and that I really do appreciate all the kind words, support and funny comments. It’s great to know that some people can relate and that what I’m going through isn’t completely embarrassing and unheard of.

Please excuse this week’s “MySpace” like bump picture (admit it, all you ladies out there have taken at least one self portrait of yourself through a mirror to put on MySpace, and probably with a "duckface" to boot) but my husband is away for the weekend biking in the Trek Across Maine. I’ve included the link below if anyone is interested. If you can’t tell, I’m very proud of him. J But due to his absence, I have to resort to this professional looking picture for this week’s post.
 

Here I am at almost 29 weeks!! I hope you all have a great weekend!!!

TREK ACROSS MAINE INFORMATION

http://www.lung.org/associations/charters/northeast/events/cycle/trek-across-maine/

Maternity Jeans..you are my nightmare

I just grew out of my second pair of maternity jeans. L Buying jeans is the absolute worst but buying maternity jeans takes the cake. There’s nothing like buying 50+ dollar jeans that you know you will either grow out of, or only wear while your pregnant. And then do what my mom did and burn those suckers when everything is said and done. You are looking at a girl that still has Paris Blue and Mudd jeans from junior high that I bought from Weathervane. If the pair of jeans makes me look good then I’m not getting rid of them. I’d rather look like a character straight out of Dawson’s Creek then go shopping at any retail store for a pair of jeans.

So granted, I hope to not be rocking jeans for a lot of the summer but you need your occasional jean day when it’s cool outside and I’m fairly sure Avery is suffocating every time I attempt to put on a size Medium maternity jean which is basically all I have. Well that and my single size small that stopped fitting shortly after I announced my pregnancy.

I’m not ashamed to admit that I will now be on the hunt for some large maternity jeans over the next weekend. I’m talking scary large. So large that this will be the last pair of maternity jeans I will ever have to buy, ever.

The only upside I see out of this entire ordeal is that I’m getting quite a booty and for anyone is familiar with the “McManus flat butt” you know that this has been a treat for me! I can wear my jeans and not look like a prepubescent skater boy wearing his pants too low. So thanks little Avery for that bonus!!

Take that Gestational Diabetes

There are very few times in my life that I have been nervous to take a test. I wasn’t even nervous for my SAT’s. Mainly because I was probably exhausted from going to a party the night before and the fact that I knew that I would still be able to get into Keene State College regardless of the score on my test. I’m fairly sure at that time you just had to have a pulse to get into the school. This is neither here nor there. There are only two tests I have gotten nervous for, driver’s test and my latest glucose test that I had the pleasure of taking yesterday.

For those of you that don’t know what a glucose test, it is a test that pregnant women usually take in their 24^th -28^th week of pregnancy. It is basically to test to see if you have gestational diabetes or high blood sugar. I think I can speak for all pregnant women that this is completely nerve raking!!

Basically you go in and they give you 50grams of a gross orange soda looking thing to chug in 5 minutes. If anyone knows me from college, chugging/beer funneling/ keg stands is not my forte. I would basically just upchuck if I even made an attempt. So I was more nervous about sucking this bad boy down then I was about anything else. Once you drink your orange liquid of disgusting, the clock begins. You have to sit there for an hour without eating or drinking (except water) until they are ready to take your blood. Usually, I’m a big girl and I can wait an hour. HOWEVER, my hospital has the worst cell phone reception on the planet and I couldn’t use my phone or internet. I’m going to try to convince my hubby to take them on as a client and work on enhancing their internet before I go into labor. I can not sit in a hospital for 10 plus hours without connection to the outside world.

Any who, I made it through. Normally, I would not be nervous about this because I’ve never had any health issues in the past but most the women around me that have been pregnant within the past 2 years have all either failed their first GT test and/or have been diagnosed with Gestational diabetes. I assumed with my intense ice cream addiction lately that I was about to be the next victim.

THANK THE LORD. Everything is fine. I passed my test and no gestational diabetes. More exciting is that I now won’t have to sit through the 3 hour follow up test because I passed the first one.

So excuse me as I continue to consume mass quantities of Gifford’s Black Raspberry Chocolate Chip Ice Cream until I give birth to this little girl. She may have a purplish skin tone by the end of this and weigh about 12lbs but she will understand someday.  

I'm sexy and I know it...

JK...I feel fat and I'm fairly certain I can count 3 chins..

I’m such a slacker about posting baby bump pictures each week. However, I traveled home to Simsbury yesterday and had a romantical date with my friend’s JD and Emy and by the time I got home I looked like I was 9 months pregnant and I didn’t think it was a fair depiction of what I actually look like in my 7th month of pregnancy. So I decided to wait until the AM today to post one and realized that due to my gluttonous evening of Meadows food and Tulmeadow ice-cream, I’m still looking pretty hefty so I just have to go with it. Please enjoy my baby bump pic as I enter my 28^th week!! J

The Walking Dead

When I was in college I had THE BEST JOB EVER. No, not working at the Mason Library.  Though that 30 dollars a week was super helpful! Don't overdue it KSC with your work study program. You don't want kids getting spoiled. Besides that,  I worked at a tanning salon. Yes, calm down, tanning salons are bad yada yada yada. But trust me, between heavy drinking, smoky basements and the Dining Common’s finest of cuisines, I think that tanning at a tanning salon was the least of my issues.

Working with my best friend, while getting tan for free for 4 years was kind of amazing. I don’t know how tan I actually got but I know it was more than what I’ve got now. Even though I tanned for many years, I don’t know if I’d step foot into a tanning bed ever again. Basically because I’ve come to terms with my white skin and the fact that no matter how much I tan, I’ll never be “tan.”

So now that I’m pregnant, obviously tanning beds are out of the question both because of my own reasoning and the fact that no matter how many doctor’s tell me “it’s OK in moderation” I refuse to believe that heating lamps are good for a already hot pregnant woman. Not only that, but I’ve read that I can’t use the spray tan, tan lotions or any other chemicals that can help me with my albino skin issues. I’m devastated.

The only thing I can resort to is bronzers. SO, I’m heading to Sephora this weekend to stock up because it’s going to be a long, scary, white summer if I don’t. With all of these “Zombie” occurrences in the last month I need to be sure I don’t get confused with any of them. So I’m doing what any responsible mom would do and will begin bronzing myself to look like a living human being for the good of myself and unborn child. 

Starting my Third Trimester!!!!...I think….

Depending on where you are looking, people say your third trimester starts at different times. I read that your third trimester starts at your 28^th weeks, I also read when you start your 6th month or at your 24^th week... Also, if a pregnancy is 40 weeks, doesn’t that mean I’ll be pregnant for 10 months?! I’m always so confused. As if we don't have enough to worry about I have to sit down and do mathematical equation every time someone asks me how far along I am. Since my “What to Expect when you are Expecting”  iPhone application has notified me that I’m in my third trimester I will be going by that! iPhone apps have been extremely reliable throughout this entire process already so why stop relying on them now.

I thought that by the time I hit my third trimester I’d be a waddling balloon wearing overalls or a floral covered moo moo. I have not succumbed to wearing my 90’s overall jean shorts but I have most certainly gotten bigger. Three people in the past weekend made the EXACT same comment, “Oh, now you look pregnant.” My mom, my aunt and my sister in law all said the same thing. This made me both happy and sad. Happy that I’ve managed to get through over 6 months of pregnancy not looking pregnant but sad that instead people assumed I was just getting really fat. To be honest, I’m really happy about looking pregnant because I sure as hell feel it.

We went to our third centering class on Thursday and Avery has a heartbeat of 150. I’m measuring one week ahead of schedule ( I blame that on the excessive amount of ice cream I’ve been having to battle my acid reflux, status: reflux is winning but ice cream is putting up a good fight) but my doctor says the weight gain is good and my blood pressure is excellent. It was probably the first time I’ve truly felt completely relived and felt that everything is going well.

So, currently I’m 27 weeks pregnant, 13 weeks left to go and I’m officially in my Third Trimester!!!! Let the swelling commence!!!!