Farewell!!!

It has been almost a year since I wrote my first blog. I remember when I first put my blog out there I was so nervous. I sent it to my mom, sister and husband for approval. I was being honest and open about some really embarrassing things and I didn’t know how people were going to react. However, I’m so glad I didn’t hold back.

This journey has been long, amazing and life changing and I’m so happy I was able to share that with my family, friends and the poor internet searcher looking for some pregnancy guidance and stumbled upon my goofy blog.

I’m however going to step away from the blog, not like I was doing a great job updating it these past few months, and not drag it out to drag it out. It was so fun while I was doing it and I hope that I’m inspired again down the road to create a new blog.

I will continue to update mine and Avery’s status because I will print this all out and give it to her when she graduates High School or at some other time when I can really embarrass her so feel free to check back every once and awhile to see how she’s doing.

I’m grateful for all the positive feedback, the friends that were made and all the great things that came with creating this blog. It was truly therapy for me and the fact that I helped some other people out there made it that much more enjoyable to write.

I never thought that I would write 70 blogs, receive over 18,000 hits and have an audience of over 20 countries. It’s seriously amazing.

So with all that being said, thank you to my friends, family and all my supporters it’s been a blast.

And remember, iPhone apps are not a form of birth control, but I’m so glad we used it. J

Our Miss. Avery at 5 months!!!

Mr. Mom

I’m going to start off by saying, I love my husband. He is an amazing man and father. A lot of times he is more patient and reasonable than I am. When Avery cries bloody murder throughout the night and I say “well, I think it may be time for her to find her own place.” He calmly tells me “That it’s just a phase, and everything will be OK.” He is absolutely the rock in the group. However, like most men, he doesn’t really understand how much goes into being a mom. That is, until I got sick this past weekend and Jon got to see first hand what it’s like to be a full time mommy.

Granted, when a man is sick, his place is usually on the bed or on the couch and that’s as far as he goes unless nature calls. When a woman is sick, she’s basically just doing the same things she normally does, but just feels worse doing them. This Saturday, I was pretty sick and was in bed for most of the day. I woke Jon up at 8am and said that I just couldn’t do it and I didn’t want to get her sick so he had to help. He finally emerged around 9 and I went to lie down. I will give him this; Avery is teething, so she was a lot more fussy than normal. I would come out of the room every once in awhile (to switch the laundry around because as I said, a mom’s schedule doesn’t change much on a sick day) to see how everything was going. Jon was visibly exhausted. I kind of smiled inside because this was the same guy that referred to my 9 weeks of maternity leave as a “Vacation.” Yes, vacation. What every woman dreams of!! Waddling for the first few days, barely showering, no sleep, messy house, crying baby, washing dishes (including bottles and of course pump parts) still cooking but hardly eating, pumping, breastfeeding and in our case also supplementing. It was an AMAZING break. I don’t even know why we went to Hawaii for our honeymoon when we should just continue to reproduce so I get this vacation every year.  

This is the way I believe a man envisions maternity leave. Woman gets to stay home, watch TV, relax, take up a hobby, eat all day, look through magazines, cleans because of course every woman loves to clean and since she’s not “that busy” should absolutely have dinner on the table because she can just do it when the baby is sleeping.

OK, Jon may not have thought it was quite like this, but I think he thought it is a lot easier than it was. But now, after this Saturday, I think he gets it.

Towards the end of the night I was feeling better and took over. I did our usual bath and sat with her until she went to sleep. All and all, it was a rough day for everyone. Even though I did enjoy my mini break, it’s still tough to be away from her and to hear her cry when she’s so close. But I think that we all learned valuable lessons from the experience.

I learned that it’s OK to take a break and take care of myself.

Avery learned that daddy can do just as good of job as mommy can.

And Jon learned what an absolutely amazing, hardworking, selfless, phenomenal, and insanely beautiful wife that he has. J He may not have said that all but the look in his eyes when I took over Saturday night, it couldn’t have been clearer. 

So with all this being said, I love my husband because he is willing to help when I need him to and I love my Miss. Avery more than ever. She turned four months old on 12/26. And based upon the weight scale she is still a peanut, clocking in at only 9% for body weight. She is going to be leggy like her mom and is the 22% for height. The pediatrician said that she is super aware of her surroundings for a four month old (no surprise to us since our little girl is the nosiest little thing on the planet) and looks as healthy as can be!!! Check out the Status page for more details.

CMS: Competitive Mom Syndrome.

I don’t know if this is an actual clinical term but it should be, since this is a very real "disorder" that every new mom has whether it is a mild or a full blown case.

As mom’s we have a tendency to want the best for our kids so we always want to make sure that they are progressing normally. Of course, this is definitely a new mom tendency as I’m sure after you have had a few you are confident that at some point your child will learn to walk and talk before they go to college.

I like to think I have a relatively mild case of CMS. I love to see other’s baby pictures, see statuses, and just love talking to other moms about everything babies and their experiences. I’m generally happy for and impressed by most new moms.  But of course, there is always the side of me that looks at another baby and I say to myself, “Wait, how many months is that baby??? Three months and he/she is already rolling over?? What the heck??” And then off I go grabbing my daughter for some tummy time that she absolutely hates so that she doesn’t fall behind.

I’ve gotten a lot better about it. Mainly because I see that Avery has many other strengths. First off, she was very early to smile. She was smiling pretty big even within a few weeks (no, not gassy smiles) but legitimate ear to ear, cheesetastic smiles. She was also great at grabbing at things. She would find your finger and wouldn’t let it go. And of course, the continuous rapid growth of her hair is a focal point when I bring her out in the world. Out of all of Avery’s great strengths, I think her ability to grow an immense amount of hair is one that gets her the most attention.

With that being said, she hates, hates, hates to be on her stomach and therefore has not started rolling over yet. Not back to front, front to back, nothing. I assume that she will at some point roll over so I’m not stressing just yet.

Some mom’s may think that this is no big deal that Avery hasn’t rolled yet, and they are right. But I'm a mom and I get to worry now no matter how big or small. And I'll probably still compare Avery and myself against other mom's and babies for a few more months. Which brings me to this.... here are the top 3 things that I think that most mom’s are the most competitive about during the first few months and the things that I'm finally realizing doesn't matter as much as it used to. What do you think?

1. Breastfeeding. Totally one of the most competitive topics I think surrounding motherhood. How much are you producing? How long will you be doing it for? How much do you have stored? I, of course, have failed miserably. Not producing, not doing it, nada stored. Oh well.
2. Post baby body. How much have you lost? How quickly did you lose it? Do you fit in your pre preggo pants? I’ve lost 24lbs, took me 3 months, still rocking my maternity jeans. Post baby body is totally not a priority of mine. Spending time with Avery has trumped going to the gym and obsessing about weight. I’ll get back to where I need to be, on my time.
3. Sleeping habits: How long does your baby sleep? Sleeping in nursery or your room? And of course the question of all time, Is your baby sleeping through the night? Avery sleeps only a few hours throughout the day (she literally doesn’t want to miss a thing), she still sleeps in our room, and NO, she is not sleeping through the night. Avery wakes up about once a night. I don’t mind her waking up in the middle of the night if it’s just once. It’s still tough stuff to do a 2am feeding but during my late nights I can create fun  and somewhat creepy gems like this…

Alright, so maybe it does get easier….

I really, really, really wanted to believe people when they said that once 12 weeks rolled around, things would get easier. I just didn’t believe a single one of them. Probably because those were the same people that told me that giving birth, “wasn’t that bad” or the ones that told me that “breastfeeding will get easier.” Despite being misled in the past, they were absolutely correct.

I knew things couldn’t get much worse. The first 6 weeks were pretty tough. Not because we had a bad baby but because I was trying so hard to breastfeed and beating myself up for supplementing with formula that I was driving myself crazy. I didn’t even leave the house for a month because if I did, I thought I was being a bad mom and should have been home breastfeeding or pumping. But finally, at 6 weeks when I came to terms that my boobs couldn’t even produce enough milk to feed a small ant, things started to get that much easier.

Sure we had our issues with Avery from weeks 6-8. Not because she was being bad or crying for no reason but because switching from breastfeeding to formula is tough on a babies tummy and she had some issues. Constipation, acid reflux, gas, you name it. And though we are still dealing with these from time to time. She has to be one of the happiest babies you ever did see and it just took 12 long weeks to see that.

I like to think I’m an open book and an honest person. I would never tell someone that things are going great when they aren’t. So believe me, the fact that I’m finally saying that things have gotten better, I’m telling you the truth. I’m not sitting here bragging that I have an amazing baby, that I’m a great mom, and everything is roses now. What I am saying is that not matter what or how good or “bad” your baby is, things do get easier. It may be at 12 weeks, it may be at 6 months. But regardless, every week is that much better.

Avery doesn’t have a pediatrician’s appointment until January for her fourth month so we had to make an attempt to weigh and measure her ourselves. She is currently 11lbs, woohoo!! And measuring 23 inches in length and about 15 inches for her head. I’m pretty sure I didn’t measure her head correctly so if her head grows 5 inches within the next month, it’s my bad.

As for me, I’ve lost 3 more pounds and less than 5lbs away from seeing the 130’s again. I have definitely come a long way and even though I’m rocking the maternity pants still, I’m proud that I’m still trying despite my rough start. I’m not posting a picture because I literally look exactly the same as last month but I’ll post one for her 4^th month when hopefully I look a little bit different via awkward mirror photo.

To conclude, here are some highlights of Avery’s 3^rd month.

1. She is now giggling!!! It is absolutely amazing and adorable.
2. She is letting me shower, cook and do something’s around the house while she entertains herself and doesn’t cry.
3. She has found her thumb and hates her pacifier, yup, we’re screwed.
4. She is only getting up once a night usually. This is HUGE for us.

Lastly..

5. Her upper body strength is getting so much better that she almost threw herself off the couch ( I caught her, thank the lord) while I was taking these 3 month pictures. J

One month, one pound…

How hard is it to lose baby weight? I mean seriously girls.  I lost 20lbs in less than 2 weeks. I totally got this!! Yeah, RIGHT!

I did sincerely lose 20lbs in less than 2 weeks. I lost so much weight that our pediatrician told me that this was the cause of my lack of milk supply and that I would need to start eating 3000 to 3500 calories a day!!!! Are you kidding?? So as a first time panicked mom I went home and ate as many oatmeal chocolate chip cookies (oatmeal is supposed to increase milk supply) as my doughy tummy could possibly handle. After doing this for another week while continuing to breast feed I actually went up a couple of pounds. Of course, I never even came close to consuming 3000 let alone 3500 calories but I ate a lot more than I normally would.

So now here I am, 2 months post partum and lost only a single pound this month so I’m currently 147. Basically the same weight I was last month before I gained weight due to some terrible advice. And as a side note, the excessive eating did not help and I dried up like “Tan Mom’s” face. So after 6 weeks of breastfeeding I ran dry which also put my weight lose at a screeching halt. The good news is, my midwife approved me to start exercising so hopefully moving my body a bit may help with the slim down process.

With all this being said. I GET IT. It’s tough to be a new mom and attempt to shrink down to your pre-preggo size when you have a newborn crying, you are exhausted and dinner consists of either frozen foods or take out. And it’s fall so bring on the fatty pumpkin lattes, delicious pumpkin beers and of course all the baked goods that this time has to offer.  

Bottom line, don’t be so quick to criticize a mom for not losing all her pre-preggo weight within the first year. Most of us are not wealthy actresses and models that have someone to care for our babies while we go exercise and have a cook prepare the meals. However,  I haven’t given up on my attempts and I hope now with the exercise blessing from my midwife I can get a move on but I’m going to stop beating myself up and enjoy my beautiful baby, our new life and my flabby belly that made it all happen.

Stay tuned for Avery’s status on Tuesday after we visit the pediatrician. J

Before: 9 Months

After: 8 weeks postpartum

“You don’t understand since you don’t have kids…”

When people used to say this to me it made me absolutely cringe. That and the other variations, “just wait until you have kids” “You don’t have kids yet so you dot get it” and any other way people like to phrase it to get the same message across. I think it got under my skin because when people say this to others, it almost seems like they know better than you, you are too immature to understand and that you are beneath them in some way. That’s kind of how a lot of pregnant women take it. I found it even more annoying because I did know a lot about kids already and felt that just the fact that I knew how to change diapers, burp a baby, quiet a baby, and feed a baby that I already had a leg up on a lot of moms. So, because of how I felt when people said this to me, I’ve sworn never to say it to any pregnant or non-pregnant women. HOWEVER, with that being said, there are some things that have happened that I truly would not have understood until I became a mom and experienced it for myself. Here are some things that have happened to me and how I now see things differently.

1. I took Avery to a tailor because I had to get my dress fitted for my sister’s wedding since I’m an idiot and decided to get one that I could fit into 9 months pregnant. That’s how much confidence I had in my weight losing abilities. Avery was sound a sleep and it was the perfect time to go in. When I went in, there was an old man and his granddaughter in there. He was SCREAMING at the top of his lungs a story. I thought for sure that when he saw there was a sleeping baby in the car seat that he’d take it down a couple of notches. Not even a little bit. He kept yapping away about I don’t know what as I was too busy cringing and staring at Avery praying that she wouldn’t wake up because I still had to get into the dress to have it sized. Thank god, she didn’t flinch. This made me think to myself, “I wonder if I ever lowered my voice when a women with a newborn was near me” and I think the answer is “probably not.” So this is one of those times that unless you are a parent, you really don’t realize the window of opportunity you have to get things done is so small and by people screaming near you and waking up your baby can really throw off your entire day!
2. Another eye opening experience was my magical adventure to Target. Yes, I was one of those people that heard a crying baby and would shoot a glare over to the mom and thought to myself “can’t you keep your child quiet.” I mean how hard could it be to keep a baby quiet if they are fed and changed. Whelp, it can be real hard. I learned this first hand. I got up in the morning, showered; got Avery bathed, put on an adorable outfit and headed out the door to go to Target! This wasn’t our first adventure out in the world. Every other time she would just sleep through our trips to Kohls and Hannaford so no big deal that we drove 30 minutes over to Target. I’m sure she will just sleep soundly like normal. Um, nope. After having to fight through a windstorm getting into the store I look down and see Avery starting to wake up so I grabbed the pacifier just in case (side note: Avery doesn’t love her pacifier but sometimes it comes in handy) and was prepared for her to scream. Like I had anticipated, she was off screaming. Of course, today was the day that she was not having the pacifier. I swooshed, I rocked, and I jiggled. I did everything in my power to get her to stop crying. She had just eaten and was just changed so what could possibly be wrong!? As the screams got louder, I spun around to head to the car but not before I got to see the ugly stares from fellow patrons as I exited the building. Once in the car, I fed her which calmed her down a bit and I probably could have gone back in, but I chickened out. I took my daughter the 30 minutes back home without anything to show for except a Starbucks coffee I grabbed on the way back since I didn’t need to leave the car to get it. I felt completely defeated and has made me very cautious going back out into the world.

So despite the fact that these kinds of things happen to every mom one time or another, it doesn’t make it any easier when you go through it yourself. And yes, you are right, I probably wouldn’t have understood how something like that would suck until I experienced it myself even if I was told that it would happen. So, I’m not going to tell the first time mom’s out there that you don’t understand, because you probably do understand exactly how something like that would be super embarrassing. All I’m going to say is enjoy your time of just getting up and going to stores and looking around with no care in the world because at one point, this will absolutely happen to you. Don’t be embarrassed and give the dirty looks right back to those cocky girls without babies, because one day they will have a Target meltdown with their newborns as well.

In all seriousness..how can I ever really bad mad at this face...

Our First Month!

Today was Avery’s one month appointment. I love going to the pediatrician. Yes, getting a newborn ready and out the door is a pain in the butt sometimes because you really need to plan eating and changing at just the right time so that when you do arrive your baby doesn’t have a meltdown for one reason or another. Despite that, I love to see them because it’s nice to be constantly reassured that your baby is fine and not to worry so much. I am worrier and google is my best and worst friend. Even during pregnancy I was  huge worrier so of course now that she is outside my body I’m going to worry even more.  

Avery’s issues so far have been, losing too much weight, yeast under the arm pits, diaper rash, mass amounts of spit up and now recently constipation. These are all SO not a big deal. But when it happens, it really screws up your baby’s and as a result, your day pretty nicely.  We’ve been lucky that it has all been minor issues and most of them have gone away. So when I went to the pediatrician today they said she looked awesome and gave us Avery’s stats for the first month...

Basically she is a peanut for her age...

She weights 7lbs 9oz and is the 15^th percentile (meaning only 15% of babies are smaller than her)

Her height is 20 inches and is in the 20^th percentile

Her head is 13 3/4in and is in the 12^th percentile.

So there you have it. Our baby is still a very small baby so I’m working overtime to get her as chunky as possible so that she can fit into some of these adorable outfits. And let’s face it, everyone loves a chunky baby.

To end the entry, I wanted to share some things I have learned about being a mom this past month and what I’ve learned about myself. Hopefully some mamas out there can relate.

1. Eating and sleeping are no longer necessary. But if you had to choose, sleeping will always win.
2. Speaking of sleeping, if you get 3-4 hours in a row, then congratulations, you have officially received a full night’s sleep. You are one of the lucky ones.
3. Eating is officially a game. You either need to eat as fast as you can before the little one wakes up, or learn how to eat one handed real quick.
4. People care more about how you are feeding your child then how your child is actually doing. Even though I’m pumping, formula and breastfeeding, I will still be judged. And if you are solely formula feeding, get ready for some undeserved scrutiny. This usually comes from the most unlikely people ever, those that never had an issue with breastfeeding and men.
5. I checked to make sure Avery was breathing at least 20 times a night during the first week. She was.
6. You never thought you could get so excited about poop in your babies diaper.
7. Boobs are no longer a private body part and you don’t even care.
8. Sleeping when the baby sleeps is good in theory
9. Spit up or drool on your shirt is no big deal. If it dries quick or is not that much then the shirt is still good to wear
10. You truly forget about your life before the baby. Everything is now about them. Being selfish is no longer an option and you end up being OK with that. J

 Also, check out the new pages I’ve added to track how both Avery and I are doing.

Happy one month Ms. Avery!!