Why my child will be better than Snooki’s.

Now don’t get me wrong. I have been watching Jersey Shore with the best of them since the beginning and I’m no longer afraid to admit that. However, I never thought there would come a day when Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi and I would actually have something in common. Today it has been brought to my attention that Snooki and I are in the same week of pregnancy. So despite the fact that I already had a blog ready to go for this evening, I have decided to hold off on that to announce why I think my baby will be better than Snooki’s. Not to say that I don’t think that her's will not be a well adjusted little baby on the shores of Jersey, hanging out at Karma with Aunt JWoww. That is not it at all. But I’m pregnant and ready to rant so here it goes…

My top 5 Reasons why my baby will be better than Snooki’s

1. My baby will have more than one hair style within a 5 year time period
2. My baby’s skin tone will be that of a human beings. A pasty white human beings but a human’s none the less
3. My baby will never think that someone called “The Situation” could possibly be their father.
4. The only time my baby will ever see my “Who-Ha” will be when it enters in to this world and not when they tune in to MTV on Thursday nights
5. My baby will never be embarrassed of my drunken antics that have been documented. Unless they take the time to scroll through my Facebook timeline.

Spreading the Word....

It’s very interesting the way in which people respond when you tell them you are pregnant. Our families were excited. My dad (Chuck) was already formulating different type of “Grandfather” nicknames in his head. My mom created a Pinterest Board of all the great ideas for baby showers and nurseries.  My sister in law (Amy) was quick to call to lend a helping hand and advice. My sister (Nay) was happy but not pleased that I would continue to possess part of the spotlight. You have to know our relationship to understand that her being sarcastic is a form of endearment.

I think how your family reacts is usually fairly standard. In my case I’m sure my mom was just excited that I was married and not another cast member of “Teen Mom” for my first pregnancy. All and all I think people are happy when you tell them you are pregnant. For me the most interesting reactions came from both my friend’s and co-workers.

One of my dearest friends Katherine was one of the best. When I told her, I prefaced it by saying “let’s not make a big deal out of this” and if anyone knows Katherine, as I do, that was not going to happen. I told her she wasn’t allowed to tell anyone just yet. So she did what any normal friend would do and told everyone that she worked with, her hairdresser, the person at the grocery store and any other obscure person that may have crossed her path.  BUT, I will say I trust her with my life and I doubt she told anyone we actually know, unless it was Mikaela Noble.

My boss was probably the saddest. Our relationship is mainly based around alcohol and the consumption of it. So we both knew that right off the bat our relationship would suffer. He was supportive and of course invited me out for a drink after my first prenatal exam to celebrate. I respectively declined.

I think the most difficult thing is to tell your friends and co workers you are pregnant. Mainly because you are telling your boss and co-workers that you have indeed had sex and without protection to boot. And telling your friends you are pregnant is basically saying “by the way, I can’t drink, I’m going to be fairly grumpy for awhile and you have to pretend I look cute no matter how fat I get.” So if someone tells you that they are pregnant, the best thing you can do is to not look disappointed, smile and try to refrain from asking “who is the father?” You know who you are…

My P-P-P Poker Face…

I hate lying to my friends. Mainly because I’m the most awkward person ever and lying just makes me look even more uncomfortable.

Of course we have a get together with a group of my sorority sister’s right in the beginning of the pregnancy. It’s at the point where it’s probably not a good idea to throw back beers and that if you tell everyone you are pregnant you are setting yourself up for a disappointment if anything was to happen.

My two sorority sister’s that are married, Baitlyn Kebyn and Micole Nacri (changed their names to conceal their identities) were the only ones that called me out that I was pregnant the second I uttered the words “water” to the bartender. Can’t a girl go out with her friend’s and try to stay hydrated? Apparently, once you get married your “pregnancy radar” automatically turns on as most of my other friends didn’t give my non-alcoholic order another thought. Or at least they didn’t say anything to my face. They were just happy that I offered to be the DD.

These are my top 5 lies I went to in order to get out of a drinking situation, can you find the one I probably used on you. J

Sorry for lying.

1. I have food poisoning (yet, I haven’t lost a lb or my appetite)
2. I’ll be your DD (it kind of was a lie because I never ended up being the DD when all of us girls went out, sowwy!!)
3. Watching my weight (even though I’ll proceed to order a grilled cheese sandwich in front of all of you.)
4. I quit drinking (ha)
5. I just don’t feel like it tonight (but I’d rather hang out with a bunch of drunk people instead while I’m sober, yup, that’s it)

Our Announcement

Baby will be here on our 1 year anniversary!

We must give credit to our friend at Etsy for helping us create this...  :)

http://www.etsy.com/shop/egyptiafrog6?section_id=7266937



iPregnant

If you haven’t guessed it by now, I own an iPhone. Oh, and I’m pregnant. I’m 12 weeks to be exact. For all you clever mathematicians out there we were well into our marriage before conception so let’s lay the rumor mill to rest. However, Jon, my husband,(this would be a completely different type of blog if it wasn’t), and I were not planning on kids until at least a year in to marriage. I think most couples say that but we really meant it. We were so adamant about not having children until later on in marriage that we did that most responsible thing we could think of, downloaded a free iPhone app to track when I could and couldn’t get pregnant.

Of course, the apps are used for those couples actually looking to conceive. We decided to use it for our own selfish reasons. Since every form of birth control needs a back up method, I of course downloaded not one but two free apps just in case.

My first app, Ladytimer, very clearly shows you on a calendar what days you are most likely to conceive based on your ovulation schedule. That’s what Jon and I referred to as “don’t touch me with a ten inch pole days.” The second one “My Days” did exactly the same thing. I figured that two apps couldn’t be wrong so as long as we didn’t even look at each other on those 4 Ovulation days  we would be in the clear.

We perhaps should have read the fine print that you can still get pregnant 3 to 6 days before that. Oops. So unless we want to be the next Duggar family we decided that we will be using a more sound form of BC for the next go around.

This all brings us to the present day. Despite the initial tone of this blog, we are truly happy. We wanted to have kids. We were just looking forward to one more year of sleeping in and not being responsible for another human being. Since we are going through such a big life change,  I decided that I wanted to start a blog and document the good, the bad and they ugly of everything that pregnancy have to offer. Not only as an outlet for my crazy hormones but to share moments with not only my friend’s and family but for other women who have been in my shoes. Enjoy!