Karma

Maybe it’s just me but before I even got pregnant I was kind of a jerk about being pregnant. You hear about all these pregnancy symptoms and I thought that none of this would happen to me.

I heard of women getting wicked bad heartburn. This is something that I have never experienced in my life and didn’t think that would change when I got pregnant. I eat mainly organic, I don’t eat fast food and I drink only water throughout the day. Why on earth would “I” of all people get heartburn or have any problems with indigestion?? Um, because it happens no matter what. So now I’m a sufferer of terrible heartburn every single day. I drink ginger tea because my mom has convinced me that tea, especially ginger tea, can cure any ailment in the world so this has been my go to treatment. Despite its best efforts I still suffer from it and I’m sure it’s Karma’s way of saying, “yeah, nice try with your healthy food choices.”

Not only did I assume that I wouldn’t get heartburn but I figured that I’d be one of those “cute” pregnant ladies that only gained weight in their stomachs and absolutely no where else. Whelp, it’s really hard to consume 300 extra calories a day and choose where about in the body it goes. Yes, I have gained a generous amount in my chest which I do appreciate but I think they have reached their maximum capacity and has started down the path to my legs and arms. Two places I’ve been lucky enough to not have to worry too much about in my life. So as I sit here and type this blog I’m taking breaks to lift my 5lbs weights  in an effort to minimize the “Bingo Arms” as much as possible before I break out any summer dresses.

Lastly, my other favorite symptom that has come about is my issue with my skin. I’m completely ecstatic that I have no stretch marks to be seen. I think I may be safe as my mother has little to none to be shown for but again, Karma is a beast and I can’t even imagine what she has in store for me during month 9. However, she has not spared me when it comes to ACNE! What the heck?  Usually I can handle acne. Just give me some Salicylic acid or benzoyl peroxide and let’s deal with these bad boys. Nope, not so much when you are pregnant. Apparently it does something to something and now I’m left with a baking soda concoction to put all over my body in an effort to clear these suckers up which only seems to leave a mess on my pillow and nothing more. Way to go hormones.

So, as a warning to all my non-pregnant friends, don’t be like me. You may think you are going to bypass all of this crap when you are pregnant but you won’t. Granted, I’ve had an easy pregnancy for the most part and I haven’t had many terrible, awful symptoms, and you might not either. Just don’t go into it thinking you are going to be the perfect pregnant woman who doesn’t wear maternity clothes, eats only veggies everyday and can exercise 7 days a week. This is not reality. And if you are that person, let me know how that works out for you, and then watch me as I post a blog about you for being a liar.