“You don’t understand since you don’t have kids…”

When people used to say this to me it made me absolutely cringe. That and the other variations, “just wait until you have kids” “You don’t have kids yet so you dot get it” and any other way people like to phrase it to get the same message across. I think it got under my skin because when people say this to others, it almost seems like they know better than you, you are too immature to understand and that you are beneath them in some way. That’s kind of how a lot of pregnant women take it. I found it even more annoying because I did know a lot about kids already and felt that just the fact that I knew how to change diapers, burp a baby, quiet a baby, and feed a baby that I already had a leg up on a lot of moms. So, because of how I felt when people said this to me, I’ve sworn never to say it to any pregnant or non-pregnant women. HOWEVER, with that being said, there are some things that have happened that I truly would not have understood until I became a mom and experienced it for myself. Here are some things that have happened to me and how I now see things differently.

1. I took Avery to a tailor because I had to get my dress fitted for my sister’s wedding since I’m an idiot and decided to get one that I could fit into 9 months pregnant. That’s how much confidence I had in my weight losing abilities. Avery was sound a sleep and it was the perfect time to go in. When I went in, there was an old man and his granddaughter in there. He was SCREAMING at the top of his lungs a story. I thought for sure that when he saw there was a sleeping baby in the car seat that he’d take it down a couple of notches. Not even a little bit. He kept yapping away about I don’t know what as I was too busy cringing and staring at Avery praying that she wouldn’t wake up because I still had to get into the dress to have it sized. Thank god, she didn’t flinch. This made me think to myself, “I wonder if I ever lowered my voice when a women with a newborn was near me” and I think the answer is “probably not.” So this is one of those times that unless you are a parent, you really don’t realize the window of opportunity you have to get things done is so small and by people screaming near you and waking up your baby can really throw off your entire day!
2. Another eye opening experience was my magical adventure to Target. Yes, I was one of those people that heard a crying baby and would shoot a glare over to the mom and thought to myself “can’t you keep your child quiet.” I mean how hard could it be to keep a baby quiet if they are fed and changed. Whelp, it can be real hard. I learned this first hand. I got up in the morning, showered; got Avery bathed, put on an adorable outfit and headed out the door to go to Target! This wasn’t our first adventure out in the world. Every other time she would just sleep through our trips to Kohls and Hannaford so no big deal that we drove 30 minutes over to Target. I’m sure she will just sleep soundly like normal. Um, nope. After having to fight through a windstorm getting into the store I look down and see Avery starting to wake up so I grabbed the pacifier just in case (side note: Avery doesn’t love her pacifier but sometimes it comes in handy) and was prepared for her to scream. Like I had anticipated, she was off screaming. Of course, today was the day that she was not having the pacifier. I swooshed, I rocked, and I jiggled. I did everything in my power to get her to stop crying. She had just eaten and was just changed so what could possibly be wrong!? As the screams got louder, I spun around to head to the car but not before I got to see the ugly stares from fellow patrons as I exited the building. Once in the car, I fed her which calmed her down a bit and I probably could have gone back in, but I chickened out. I took my daughter the 30 minutes back home without anything to show for except a Starbucks coffee I grabbed on the way back since I didn’t need to leave the car to get it. I felt completely defeated and has made me very cautious going back out into the world.

So despite the fact that these kinds of things happen to every mom one time or another, it doesn’t make it any easier when you go through it yourself. And yes, you are right, I probably wouldn’t have understood how something like that would suck until I experienced it myself even if I was told that it would happen. So, I’m not going to tell the first time mom’s out there that you don’t understand, because you probably do understand exactly how something like that would be super embarrassing. All I’m going to say is enjoy your time of just getting up and going to stores and looking around with no care in the world because at one point, this will absolutely happen to you. Don’t be embarrassed and give the dirty looks right back to those cocky girls without babies, because one day they will have a Target meltdown with their newborns as well.

In all seriousness..how can I ever really bad mad at this face...